What is modesty culture, and how does it affect women in today’s society?

In the Webster dictionary the definition of “modesty” can be described as,“behavior, manner, or appearance intended to avoid impropriety or indecency.” At first glance, this appears to be appropriate and is what many people consider to be the primary definition today. The example provided under this definition states, “modesty forbade her to undress in front of so many people”, which is a legitimate statement that uses the term appropriately, however it specifically mentions “her” as in women.  Why does a woman, specifically, have to be degraded and used in this manner? The first thing that comes to mind when thinking of modesty is women, however, modesty applies to both genders. What has created this unbalance of modesty between men and women?

Despite the inattention that it receives, modesty culture exists as a major factor within our society. People frequently associate modesty with how women dress, yet modesty has nothing to do with wearing a tank top on a hot day, shorts over the knee, or anything else. Women are affected by the different societal connotations of modesty that vary depending on where they live in the world. Modesty is not only seen physically but has other traits and definitions that are not considered. Is modesty intended to influence how women dress, behave, and are seen by the rest of the world?

Modesty in the workplace between women and men:

There has been substantial research done on the wage gap between men and women in the workplace, particularly the fact that women’s annual wages are 82.3 percent lower than men’s, and the gap is considerably worse for many women of color. Taking a closer look, we discover that women frequently trail men in competitions for leadership roles, with studies revealing that “women occupy only 7.9% of the highest corporate officer titles and account for only 5.2 percent of the top earners in Fortune 500 organizations” (Budworth and Mann). 

What are gender stereotypes? Do they matter?

Gender stereotypes are preconceived notions about the features, characteristics, and roles that women and men are expected to play. Due to these gender stereotypes, “Women are supposed to be socially sensitive. Kindness, thoughtfulness, sensitivity and other stereotypically “feminine” behaviours … Men, on the other hand, are supposed to behave in a self‐assertive fashion. Behaviours such as competence and dominance are termed agentic behaviours and are stereotypically expected from men.” (Budworth and Mann). Women and men who do not adhere to these ideals are frequently stigmatized and labeled as eccentric. “African American girls are constantly accused of not dressing ‘lady-like’”(Friedrich and Shanks). What constitutes “ladylike” behavior? What constitutes “manly” behavior? Must everyone succumb to society’s “modest” standards instead of expressing themselves in any way they choose?

How do gender stereotypes tie into modesty in the workplace?

Taking into account the evolution of society over the last century, many believe that much has progressed in terms of women’s equality, even believing that “males and females need to be prepared and developed for leadership roles in the same way.” (Budworth and Mann). With that assumption, “men and women will have equivalent opportunities and experiences.”, is far from the truth. It also assumes that “men and women will be perceived in the same way for exhibiting similar behaviours”  (Budwortth and Mann) which is not necessarily true unless proven.

Women in the workplace are expected to be modest, following gender expectations, when it comes to how they present themselves whereas men can have agentic behavior being tolerated to a greater degree. An example of this is, the difference between women and men when self-promoting their accomplishments. When women “brags” they are judged unfeminine unless they do so without being boastful or arrogant, where they underrepresented their accomplishments. However, men are constantly promoting their achievements and are even praised for it. Studies have proven this unequal balance even connecting to the wage gap, “women who score low on modesty earn a larger income than those who score high while men who score high to moderate in modesty earn a larger income than those who score low.” (Budworth and Mann).

This unequal treatment between men and women in the workplace is due to these gender stereotypes that assume how men and women should behave and don’t consider how they actually are. As a result of these stereotypes, “women who are socially dominant (e.g. competitive, aggressive) are disliked because this quality conflicts with attributes of feminine niceness.” (Budworth and Mann) which results in the idea that because men possess the leadership qualities and motivation needed for effective performance, and  women possess feminine attitudes that hinder effective performance. It is a double edged sword with women, hired and liked for being modesty but seen as docile because of their modest personality.

The Result:

Gender stereotypes presume how men and women should behave and ignore how they actually are, resulting in unequal treatment of men and women in the workplace. “Women who are socially dominant (e.g. competitive, aggressive) are disliked because this quality conflicts with attributes of feminine niceness.” (Budworth and Mann) according to these stereotypes, which leads to the conclusion that men have the leadership characteristics and drive required for effective performance, whereas women have feminine attitudes that obstruct effective performance. It’s a lose-lose situation for women who are recruited and liked for their modesty yet are perceived as weak because of it.

The Irony:

While women are chastised for their modesty, when the roles are reversed and men are modest, it works in their advantage. “Research indicates that males in senior executive roles are most effective if they are charismatic, communicate effectively, and focused on the needs of their followers … tendencies that are largely communal or “feminine” in orientation.” (Budworth and Mann). Therefore, it is naive to think that men and women will be rewarded equally for the same behaviors when women appear to be put on an unequal footing with males at all times.

Modesty in school 

School uniforms have been set in place for a variety of reasons and has been a major debate. The schools say that it’s to help these students to become respectable and employable future adults while others argue it takes away the students’ opinions and choices. It’s said that these uniforms are “modest” and help everyone but taking a deeper look into this system there are plenty of advantages and disadvantages. 

Pros and Cons of uniforms:

The advantages of uniforms include those that are financially hurt from the pandemic can afford to dress their schools when schools reopen and the idea that uniforms function to “‘level the playing field between the haves and havenots’”(Caruso, 1996, p. 83)” (Friedrich and Shanks). But these “leveling of the playing field” are not neutral in regard to poverty, gender normativity, religious freedom, disability and more. 

Uniforms are “a form of power concerned with imposing strict rules of behaviour and classifying, hierarchising and surveilling people to that end.”” (Shanks and Friedrich) Where all control is relinquished because schools feel students must be modest and limit themselves to certain degrees of what they believe is best. This plays into gender stereotypes by assuming heteronotamtive views of how girls and boys should dress, as well as ignoring non-binary ideologies.

These uniforms are geared specifically toward girls and the need to manage their bodies.  “…distracts from the goal of making good, docile students: clothes which are dangerous, distracting, indecent, or potentially divisive are almost universally banned.” (Shanks and Friedrich). But why is it considered “distracting” to control what a lady wears in order to create a good and docile student? It’s disappointing to see that schools are more committed to the notion of restricting girls’ rights to wear as they choose because it’s “immodest” and so that boys are unaffected.

Modesty in books

Young adult (YA) books can cover a wide range of themes as long as they relate to the author’s main message. One of the most popular genres in YA is romance, which attracts a big number of female readers. Specifically towards the heterosexual romance where the patriarchal system is depicted in these works of YA literature, with an imbalance of power between the male and female characters. The gender stereotype is brought back where in literature the female characters are seen as docile and “feminine” while the men are dominant and controlling. 

This sort of literature is awful to consume, “… social norms that value conventional conceptions of girlhood; female characters are rewarded for passivity and submission, … they are coached throughout the text into what are thought of as appropriate feminine actions” (Herb). We can also see how the author applies the same sort of “feminine modesty” to these writings, implying a submissive woman. By allowing young female readers to interact with this type of literature, the reader is able to analyze her own feelings about the imbalance. Either out of total revulsion and contempt, or as a means of enabling and justifying.

The patriarchal system makes male characters “guardians” of female characters, giving the man unlimited power. As “being a good girl,” this type of behavior is applauded and rewarded. Writing like this just adds to the societal imbalance,“ patriarchal definitions of girlhood rooted in notions of male protection and, therefore, ownership”(Herb). Women are taught that these relationships and personalities are what women must strive for, rather than working to diminish the patriarchal imbalance and create opportunities for women empowerment.

Rape in books:

Although it is rarely spoken, the idea of being a “good girl,” submissive, and passive is sexualized, yet it does not allow the woman to feel in control of the relationship. This is what these men believe to be the “feminized ideals of women in the patriarchal systems” (Herb). This relationship allows women’s bodies to be used as rape spaces with no requirement for consent because the man makes the decision of what is right for the relationship.

Despite the fact that the man is the “facilitator” of any sexual actitivity, an intimate setting, it is accompanied by fear and desire. The male is abrasive, and the woman is compelled to submit because it is expected of her, “Consent as an acknowledgement of both power and respect is thereby removed from the narrative; in order to remain good, conventions dictate that she cannot consent.” (Herb). Justifying the abusive romantic relationship based on their definition of romance.

Rape in popular media:

This type of relationship is frequently discussed in the media and widely consumed by women. Take, for example, the popular Twilight series, where the main male love interest’s strength, intelligence, and age much exceed the female mortal protagonist. He takes on the role of protector and guardian over the protagonist’s body and life, yet his attitude and actions are abusive or domineering. He stalks her, monitors her, and chastises her when she engages in unsafe behavior, almost as if he were her parent.”Violence is regarded as seductive and sexuality as violent,” (Herb) it appears as though the female character and we, the readers, must accept abusive or aggressive actions as romantic and natural, when in reality it is not.

Victim blaming:

Even if it went as far as rape, refusing this type of “romance” will be criticized and considered as unfeminine. This results in the term victim-blaming where women are expected to be complacent and grateful “that their sexual assault was not worse than it was.” (Wesselius). The main flaw with our society is that this mentally of women must “minimise their discomfort or suffering; to put the needs of others ahead of their own; and to be accommodating and forgiving regardless of the cost to themselves” (Wesselius). This is fostered in girls at an early age, and it perpetuates rape culture, as well as women’s inability to speak up for themselves without fear of being judged.

Conclusion

Ultimately, all of these gender norms about what is modest and expected of a woman prevent women from overcoming the disadvantages they already face. When women’s gender norms in the workplace, schools, and the media are not followed, they are judged and scrutinized for not acting “how they should.” Rather than accepting these gender-based conceptions of modesty, women must fight for the respect they actually deserve and desire.

Works Cited:

Budworth, Marie‐Hélène, and Sara L. Mann. “Becoming a Leader: the Challenge of Modesty for Women.” Shibboleth Authentication Request, Journal of Management Development, 9 Feb. 2010, https://www-emerald-com.ccny-proxy1.libr.ccny.cuny.edu/insight/content/doi/10.1108/02621711011019314/full/html. 

Jasper Friedrich & Rachel Shanks (2021) ‘The prison of the body’: school uniforms between discipline and governmentality, Discourse: Studies in the Cultural Politics of Education, DOI: 10.1080/01596306.2021.1931813 

Herb, Annika. “(Para)normalizing Rape Culture: Possession as Rape in Young Adult Paranormal Romance.” Girlhood Studies: An Interdisciplinary Journal, vol. 14, no. 1, spring 2021, pp. 68+. Gale Academic OneFile, 

Wesselius, Janet. “Not That Grateful: Survivor Resistance in Rape Culture.” Girlhood Studies: An Interdisciplinary Journal, vol. 14, no. 1, spring 2021, pp. 139+. Gale Academic OneFile, link.gale.com/apps/doc/A673271189/AONE?u=cuny_ccny&sid=bookmark-AONE&xid=26477c6a. Accessed 24 Mar. 2022.